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Remember back when it was totally ok to call your Bond film Octopussy for absolutely no reason?

This was the early 80's, when Roger Moore was still James Bond despite being a little too old for the role and 007 movies each doing pretty much exactly the same thing without any real surprises. Oh sure Bond went to space and got an extra nipple at some point, but essentially the formula stagnated and/or went downhill after that.

Octopussy preceded A View To A Kill, Moore's last Bond flick, and it tends to be remembered more for its racy title than for its content. In a nutshell: the film's plot is irrelevant. Something about the Soviet Union trying to setup a war through a women-led circus somehow, and jewellery... This'll hurt less if you don't think about it. A lot happens in this movie but so much of it is either random or completely irrelevant, you could be forgiven for thinking this is more of a clip show from other Roger Moore Bond movies rather than its own film.

In terms of ridiculousness, this one's right up there with the silliest of the long-running franchise: crocodile-shaped submarines, UK flag hot-air balloons, James Bond literally dressed up like a clown, the bad guy lives in what is basically the Playboy mansion, 007 filming a woman's boobs, the madness rarely ends which helps keep things entertaining. That said, as with many of Moore's outings as the charming super-spy, this movie proves to be way too long and it soon runs out of pace, filling up its last half hour with one unlikely ending after the other.

The titular "Octopussy", by the way, is a nickname the main Bond girl's father once gave to her.

I shudder to think why...

While this is still not the worst Bond movie thanks to some genuinely fun action sequences and quite a few amusing moments, Octopussy is however not one of the best, far from it. It feels unnecessarily long for a story (if you can call it that) which really didn't need to be told and it insults your intelligence more times than it probably should. That said, the late, great Louis Jourdan makes a good villain and there are enough memorable scenes here and there to make it worth a watch.


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