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Here's another Troma Entertainment vampire film for y'all.

Unlike Rockabilly Vampire, though, this is one of those Troma movies that's much more concerned with getting as many boobs on show as possible as it is with telling a humorous little story as cheaply as possible. Now, don't get me wrong, Sucker: The Vampire is, indeed, humorous and incredibly cheap! Just not as enjoyably so as the aforementioned flick. As titillating as you might find the more erotic scenes that this movie has to offer, you'll soon just want to skip to the more plot-driven moments as at least 50% of the film is basically filler. Its look is completely inconsistent in that sometimes it's over-stylised with funky lighting, red filters and dutch angles and sometimes it's just not. It's when the film does resemble a legitimate vampire film somewhat and feels like the usual tongue-in-cheek Troma style you expect that it's at its strongest, of course. Unfortunately, the first half of the film isn't all that involving or particularly amusing.

Can you imagine that?

A Troma film with FLAWS!


Like I said with Rockabilly Vampire, this isn't a film which pretends to be great art but which strives to be just silly and... porny enough to hold your attention for an hour an a half. Which it just about kinda does. Mostly thanks to our main character, Alex Erkiletian's Reed, who is so bizarre that he really holds the whole movie together. The plot sees Reed dispose of bodies for some vampire rocker (played by Yan Birch) until he's fired from his job and has to find alternative ways of doing that. There's a necrophiliac undertone to this movie that's pretty disgusting and the fact that they manage to shoehorn in a romance with the same character that's into that is pretty impressive, in a weird, messed-up way. There's more f***ing than there is biting in this movie but when the vampire stuff does happen, it's decent enough. I mean, at least you see fangs! Something which Rockabilly Vampire sorely lacked. There's a character that's a relative of Van Helsing who gets bitten early on without much struggle and you're introduced to the film's real villain near the end but by then you would have long lost interest in the actual plot so don't worry about it.

Overall, as a Troma film, Sucker: The Vampire has enough odd goofy lines and random moments to make it just about watchable but it's still instantly forgettable. Erkiletian steals the show with a Gary Busey-esque performance and is at least entertaining throughout. Also, if you're like 14 and looking for free softcore porn on Youtube, I guess you could do worse than this movie...

Still, maybe not the most productive thing you could be doing with your time.

Go play outside or something!

Read a book!

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