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6/19/13

THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE 2 - REVIEW


Well, it had to happen.

I had to watch it.

After the hype that both The Human Centipede and this one received, I was once again lured by curiosity alone into Tom Six's demented world of disgusting things. The premise this time focusing on a near-mute psycho, a big fan of the first movie, who decides to make his own human centipede.

Sadly, he's no doctor.

Unlike The Human Centipede, which didn't waste too much time before bringing out the goofiness, The Human Centipede 2 takes it sweet-ass time and makes sure to take us through every painstaking step of the process. Our main character, as stereotypically foul of a creature as you'd expect, attacks people in the parking garage where he works in brutal ways before kidnapping them and dumping them in some out-of-the-way warehouse where he proceeds to staple them ass-to-mouth for shits and giggles.  Literally: shits and giggles. Before that, we get to spend time with his crazy mother and some weird bearded psychiatrist with a random sexual crush on our hero. I'm using the term "hero" very loosely. The film is shot in black and white but that doesn't really make it any more sinister, it still feels like a  student film gone wrong. The acting, as ever, isn't great but it just about works thanks to a very funny script with some impressively ridiculous lines.

It's all one big build-up to creepy overweight mute dude making his centipede but although the build-up itself is a bit slow, it never really gets boring. You're still curious to see how silly the movie can get so you stick with it. Does it deliver? I guess, yeah. You do get that messed-up last half hour you were promised but, as with the first movie, there are little to no surprises. From the offset, you pretty much know what'll happen in the end so you just sit there and wait it out but because it's all so goofy and proud of its gross-out horror, it remains watchable. People are stapled together, a woman gives birth in a car, many get hit with crowbars in the face, lots of shitting (of course) and to finish things in style, a little bit of rape. Which, by the way, was completely unnecessary and easily the most genuinely unpleasant part of this whole mess.

The Human Centipede 2 isn't one of those movies you need to see, it's one of those movies you watch just to say you've watched it. If you're curious enough to see it and get a kick out of seeing random, gross things on screen, then it'll give you what you expect from it. As a horror film, though, it's not very good unfortunately.

About as useful as the first one.

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