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3/1/13

FREEJACK - REVIEW


Yes, you are reading this correctly.

Mick Jagger, Emilio Estevez and Anthony Hopkins all cast in a movie together.

An early 90's sci-fi movie no less!

Actually... MUCH less.

Freejack may look good on paper (trashy good) but alas, after a promisingly ass first act, this was one silly, low-budget B movie with very little to offer besides some shockingly not-even-trying performances, a lot of smoke, trucks and... night. Our lead is a particularly uncharismatic Emilio Estevez, he plays a racing car driver who is one day "freejacked" (read: teleported) into the future by an unknown mastermind who wants to take over his body... or something like that. Trust me, Freejack is near incomprehensible so reviewing it is like digging for patterns inside a mountain of dirt. Mick Jagger plays some bad dude who is after Estevez for some reason and Rene Russo is the latter's past girlfriend who mysteriously hasn't aged in nearly 20 years after his dramatic disappearance.

It's a pretty fun concept this whole time travel abduction/body snatching thing and in films like last year's Looper or even good old Trancers it works rather well but here they have somehow managed to drain whatever excitement could have been generated from such a potentially entertaining plot. Instead, we're made to sit through countless uninteresting scenes, many of which could have easily been edited out altogether and wait for a thrilling resolution which never comes. Even Anthony Hopkins, who makes a brief appearance here, couldn't save Freejack from itself. That said, you've got a brilliantly miscast Jagger whose performance is so impressively bad it deserves a watch: funny stuff, trust me. Also, the creative advanced technology we get to witness in that terrifying future of *dun dun duuuuun* 2009 is about as lame as it gets but enjoyably so.

I mean, I'm talking about saying "door" out loud before you enter a room and your door opens.

F*** flying cars: THIS is the shit I'm waiting for!

Think of Freejack as a B movie of the likes of Escape From New York, Blade Runner, Lawnmower Man and whatever else sci-fi films came out in the 80's and 90's but unapologetically rubbish. Watch any of the aforementioned flicks instead but, like I said, if you're desperate for some Jagger lols, Freejack has at least that.

Yawn.

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