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3/5/12

BEETLEJUICE (NES) - GAME REVIEW


Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetle...

ASS!

Man, talk about not even trying... what a poor excuse for a Beetlejuice game we got. This is the kind of NES title we bought and after about 5 minutes playing it realised we'd made a horrible mistake but were too poor, lazy or stubborn to do something about it so we just sat there and tried our best to finish a game we resented from the start for being nothing like the movie and being barely playable to begin with.

Hey, remember that scene in Beetlejuice when he comes across a giant shark-infested bathtub?


Right?

And remember those upside down umbrellas shooting laser beams and how Beetlejuice really got hurt every time he would touch a fiery torch? Of course you don't. That's some LJN bullshit right there. Now I'm not saying that movie-based video games should follow the original films to the letter but making up random shit just to make a speedy game release less of a hassle is just not good enough. It's like that Rambo game where Sly goes around punching bats in the face or Back To The Future where Marty McFly fights off bees like there's nothing better he should be doing...

Like, ahem, going back to the future maybe?

Weirdly enough, after some time you do adapt to the game's awkward controls. You come to accept that jumping through walls into cliffs can totally happen while standing on clouds can also totally happen. Consistency? What's that?!


What?!

Beetlejuice is buying shit? He's dead! And doesn't he have powers and shit? 

Besides, who buys skeletons? They're everywhere! Just dig that shit up, jeez. Or better yet: DON'T buy a skeleton. They're useless unless you're teaching biology to horny 12 year-olds. And even then... that's debatable.

As a game, Beetlejuice is playable. But that doesn't mean you should play it. It's packed with glitches, it's inconsistent, the scale is all over the place, the graphics unimpressive and worst of all... where's the Beetlejuice theme music? If you won't give me Tim Burton, at least give me some Danny Elfman for crying out loud.

Oh well, at least that Bird Man is "cheap". No pun intended.

Avoid.

 

1 comment:

  1. Rented this game once as a kid, and absolutely hated it. I don't remember getting very far, but I'm sure I don't want to try.

    ReplyDelete

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