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Blaming Twilight entirely for the recent burst of corny teen nonsense (shriek! abs!) is easy but one mustn't forget all the Hannah Montanas and High School Musicals which helped kick start the new trend of (shriek! abs!) pseudo-romantic teen movies. Yes Dear John, I'm pointing at you too. You wartime-set, letter sending...bastard.

Anyway, so one could say Twilight is partly to blame for the spread of (shriek! abs!) naivety throughout modern cinema but the real culprit really is Disney. And with the company now proud owner of the rights to Marvel films, god help us all...

And so we get to Zac Efron (shirek! abs!). I managed to avoid 17 Again but I have to say the trailer for Charlie St Cloud was unintentionally funny enough to spark my interest. The High School Musical alumni's puppet-like stare and Mentos-selling grin might just provide some welcome comedy!

Charlie St Cloud, indeed, was pretty funny. But also pretty harmless. As a film I was expecting something no doubt retarded on some level but also physically painful. What I got was a nonsensical, ridiculous, annoying romance between several young puppet people with the likes of Kim Basinger and Ray Liotta (shriek! flab!) filling in the blanks by texting in their mind-blowingly brief performances. Oh, and some rubbish about Zac seeing dead people and clearly turning into a psychopath. There is some fun along the way, with our puppet man being forced to speak lines like "It's the geese: there's something corrosive in their shit", run around clunking trash-cans together, sleeping with ghosts, talking to geese and surfing on muddy puddles. So even if you're not a 12 year old American girl, you can still appreciate this on numerous other levels besides, you guessed it: shriek! abs!

Overall, Charlie St Cloud isn't quite as "mor-m-onic" as the Twilight Saga but will still insult your intelligence. So if you must go and see it, just have fun taking the piss of it but don't expect anything more...that's silly.

(shriek! abs!)

Oh shut up.

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